Does he love me less?

 I come from a family of men who are not afraid to show emotions. At my parent’s 30th wedding anniversary, my dad gave this long and heart felt speech that had to end abruptly because he couldn’t hold back the tears – it was a beautiful moment.

there's no shame in shedding a tear or two

In my family, sometimes we tend to have these random bursts of emotions, and tears flow freely. Someone’s just come back from a long holiday, we weep, we’re praying for one another – we weep, someone says they love you – we weep, someone hurts you and there’s a big confrontation – you guessed it, we weep as we shout at one another. I’m the youngest of five children – and we’ve all been married off.

A family tradition was maintained at each wedding just before the end of the reception. The bride and the groom and their parents and siblings would skulk off to a private room for an ‘official handover’. This little ceremony usually went on for an hour or more. Each person in the room would offer advice and encouragement to the new couple and the fathers of the bride and groom would round up with prayer. In true fashion, my family members would ball their eyes out – particularly my dad.

You can imagine my shock, when on my wedding day, my father decides to break tradition and not cry. Not a drop! Nothing! It’s been over a year and I’m still wondering why he never shed a tear…

I wonder;

Has he not let me go in his heart and I’m still his little girl?

Did he cry when he was alone with my mother?

Did he cry after I left and no one bothered to tell me?

Does he love me less or did he figure he won’t miss me at all?

I wonder…