Many of us live fast-paced lives and can’t help but compartmentalise our relationships.
We’ve got work friends, church/mosque/synagogue friends, friends from the neighbourhood, friend friends, fake friends, friends of friends, family friends, friendships with benefits – random people who think they are our friends, but are not quite, we’ve also got twitter friends, Facebook friends / stalkers and worst of all enemies posing as friends.
Even though I could write an epistle on the various levels of ‘friendships’ we maintain, I’m going to focus on my Church friends.
it's not gossiping, it's fellowship
Most people have those ‘church friends’ that are glorified busy bodies – they are the ones that always have gist about some ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ the ones who really prod into your situation and after listening can only say, ‘It is well’ and never offer any practical advice or help.
There’s also those that call you to chew your ear off about an issue but never want to listen. And the moment you offer to pray with them is when they have to take that call that’s been waiting or have to run an errand. . They are the ones who always call you when things ate down in the dumps but seem to lose your number when things are on the up.
There’s also the ones that just call to check on you when you miss a Sunday service. After a conversation with them you’re left feeling defensive as you explain why you skipped church, you’re not sure if they’re calling because they were really concerned or if it’s because you’re being judged for backsliding’.
That said, I’ve been very fortunate to have an amazing group of friends who have crossed the line from being church friends to real friends. To be honest I’m closer to some of them than I am to some family members. They are the ones who check up on me, are there when I’m down, there when I’m up and there when things are just there. They are the ones for who a perfunctory, ‘I’m ok’ is not enough – they care enough to dig deep and uproot issues.
They are my have you prayed brigade. They refuse to be my crutch through life and force me to go to God about everything.
They are good at listening to my problems and great at offering advice and help. But when I’m done crying my eyes out – the first thing the ask is, ‘have you prayed?’
Whatever the issues… Mortgage woes, unemployment, boss aggro, frustrating parents, irritating siblings – nothing seems to dodge the ‘have you prayed’ query.
When it comes to matters of the heart be it you’ve met someone, your man is acting the fool they don’t care about being the kill joy to bring you crashing from Loveland to reality or making you feel like you’ve been totally unreasonable and overt emotional. before they start dissecting the issues they will ask, have you prayed? What is God saying?
It’s taken me so many years to value this question. I’ve heard it so many times and asked it so many times its become so cliché it almost lost it’s value …
I’m learning that regardless of how many amazing people I’m surrounded by – family and friends I’ve come to realise that for anything the say to be useful or helpful I’ve got to really pray about it first. The prayers riddled with emotion and lacking in substance and depth – do a lot to lead me to the place where I can get the encouragement and fulfilment I needed to get through the tough times.
When I was done talking at God, I’d run to my mates and pour my heart out, seeking the consolation I could have in His presence. And when they asked , have u prayed, I’d say, Yes.
I have to say there are many benefits to having a have you prayed brigade around you.
1. Even when they don’t get what u are going through the are there to usher you to the One who does
2. They know what you need to hear and won’t hold back from telling you in a way that would inspire you to act.
3. They are like the back up family God placed in your life. When biology fails – these ones pick up the slack
4. They are like spiritual fire fighters – when you are at your weakest in the very pits of hell, they are right behind you praying away the burning issues on your heart
5. They are the people you can be real with – no need to pretend you are something you are not, no need to compete with each other – because you’ve all prayed for one another to be where you are…
I love my fire-fighting Have You Prayed Brigade.
So tell me what’s the best thing about your closest friend?
I’m liking the new background – reminds me of tapestry
Re: my closest friend…….I have to be honest and say I’m closest to my hubby. I dont make new friends easily and most of my friends go way back (to secondary/ primary school)
Re: ‘Have you prayed brigade’…..I agree that they do remind you about faith and can be great motivators. However, sometimes, I just want practical advice and some people can be sooo tedious with a ‘faith message’ when all you need to know ‘are practical next steps’
I miss mine… Too many fake people around.. Or just people who give the wrongest advice.
Found out that most times, people know what they should do, just need someone else to shove it down their throat
Oh yes, the new look is a pleasant surprise
@ NIL; awwww, you and Naija Dad in London – so sweet, But that’s the way forward, when your life partner is your best mate there’s the added benefit of bespoke advice, because no one could know you better than the person you’re sharing life with. TO be honest the faith message without practical advise is rather pointless, i’m with you, they should go hand in hand. Glad you like the new look
@SNM; so true, it’s all about being accountable, that said though, even when it’s shoved that your throat you can still spit it out. I’ve sat down to enough conversations where the best advice in the world is offered – still nothing. NB: Thought i’d follow your footsteps and get something new
I’m the same, my best friend is my wife, and we make friends together. And because we’re Catholic, and lots of them forget about prayer, we’re usually the ones who remind them. We pick up friends, associates, ‘nephews’, ‘nieces’, ‘grandchildren’ very easily at church. I’m a prominent person in every church community I have belonged to. I read the readings at mass, and people seem to identify with me. When I’m alone, they always ask about my wife, and vice-versa if she’s by herself. Almost all our acquaintences are church related, except for the ones who aren’t. The best ones are the ones that challenge you to be a better person. I have a friend who did some work for us at a discount, so we got him some more business, but to meet the other party I had to ride with him, and he drove like the proverbial bat out of Hades. Weaving in and out of traffic, faster than the speed of light. I told him he drives like a Catholic. On the way back he drove reasonably well, and we arrived alive…
I love that you and Mrs David are such good friends. That’s they way it should be – always. So basically you guys are the prayer brigade. I know in some Christian circles, many people are very dependent on the pastors, vicars etc and in a way there’s a sort of spiritual laziness. Do you find that to be true as well?
We are the prayer brigade, but you know, sometimes even a doctor needs a doctor, and even a trainer needs training. So we always try to remember to put God first by praying and bible reading before we eat breakfast. Then most of our television watching is designed to keep God focussed in our hearts. EWTN is a Godsend.
Catholics are the worst of lazy Christians. They expect, many of us, to be spoonfed. They never want to hear about their sins, and always want the pastor to talk in platitudes. Of course, the ‘never’ and ‘always’ are not really never and always. There are good Christians and not so good Christians.