The Daily Telegraph has learnt that plans to enshrine in law that a child has a “meaningful relationship with both parents” are likely to be dropped. The recommendation is understood to have been left out of a report on family justice by the former pensions regulator and civil servant, David Norgrove.
It said: “If parents share care fully before separation they are more likely to do successfully after separation. But where the converse applies, legislation cannot change that fact. “
It is such heart breaking news that law makers have chosen to take the easy way out when they had an opportunity to make legislation that would ameliorate the emotional and psychological impact of a divorce.
The chauvinistic, approach which assumes only the mother is needed to raise a child is very damaging to society as a whole and more importantly to the children involved.
I’m mother, a wife an Aunty, a sister and a daughter and my without the support I get from my father and husband, i’m not sure where I’d be today.
The timing of Dr Norgrove’s report is so off as well. At a time when voluntary and statutory organisations are doing more to make sure young men have positive role models, the law is making sure Fathers will be totally cut out of a child’s life, the fact that they have difficulty deciding on how much time each parent should spend with each child is besides the point.
Divorce is rampant but it does not mean it is right. No one in their right mind gets married with the intention to get divorced – especially when children are involved. So why is more being done to tolerate and manage divorce?
horrid thought: if parents fail, the state will take over
The statistics are horrendous - 300,000 children to 200,000 single fathers, and now legislation allows the fathers to be excluded from the child’s life? I don’t think I need to say more about the importance of family life for the society – I assume everyone knows this. The more fragmented families are the more Broken Britain will be ( right on Cameron) I know some single parents do an amazing job raising their children, but it’s not the ideal choice is it. It’s also not the best for a child when they can be with both parents (here’s the clause) who can provide a loving and safe environment for the child.
The fact that parents can’t work a marriage does not necessarily mean they can not be successful as parents, or at least encouraged to do so. I haven’t got a legal degree or any experience, but it doesn’t take a genius to know the judge can order parents to spend more time with their child(ren) or at least take parenting classes £5million is being invested to teach parents how to parent – say what you want about the nanny state, but surely it has its benefits if it means more children will not be neglected emotionally and physically and if it offers the slightest hope that families will get the support they need to thrive.
What I fear the most is that broken home lead to broken young lives. Are my fears unfounded? What do you think about the absence of legal support for fathers to see their children after a divorce? Are your parents divorced or separated? What was it like growing up? Do you ever worry what impact a divorce could have on your children?
Great post – father’s are a must for every child. I don’t agree with legislating against absent fathers but there’s definitely something that needs to be fixed…
I don’t think legislation is the answer – you don’t have to “require” a good parent be part of the child’s life. Not requiring meaningful relationship also doesn’t imply a father will be cut out of the child’s life…I’m sure there are other laws protecting a parent’s rights so that if one parent is unwilling, the other parent can probably make a case for joint custody or some other agreement that enables such a relationship.
Fathers are undoubtedly important in a child’s life whether biological or not – Single moms do an awesome job of parenting their children and even at that, a male role model is still necessary because there are some things about life that just need to be learned from a man.
“Broken” homes do lead to broken lives sometimes BUT a broken home does not necessarily consist of a separated family. It is possible for two adults who do not get along as spouses to parent adjusted children – this cannot be legislated in any way. A legislative mandate cannot force anyone to change their behaviours, people have to be willing to do so (including getting the help required via parenting classes etc)…
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@ Elijah James: Thanks. You’re right something needs to be fixed. I’m sure the big wig judges and legislatures can come up with soemthing that doesn’t haven negative repercussions on the lives of young people.
@9jamom: You’re spot on various levels. however, legislation may not be the only answer, but it definitely goes a long way. No doubt a father who is determined to be a part of the lives of his children will do all he can for that to happen, but i don’t think it’s unfair to say that the absence of legislation will make this unnecessarily difficult especially in messy divorce cases where the children inveitably are used as bargaining tools.
Thanks MsLuffa – I absolutely agree with you on that point – Legislation can definitely help in that regard. Without knowing much about the British judicial system, I have to assume that there are other laws in place to mitigate this – no? if a vindictive parent tries to prevent the other from seeing the kids without a proven compelling reason (child abuse etc), then the impacted parent can most likely go through the courts for an adjustment to whatever custody rights have been previously agreed to or even during the initial proceedings… I think I need to read the source behind your story as well for a full picture on just how much impact this piece has… Great awareness post nevertheless!
I think a father’s presence completes a child be it son or daughter and its a damn shame when parents especially Moms use the kids to punish a man. so so wrong.
Are the kids broken? maybe not. i varies with each family. They do mature faster playing the middleman btw vengeful parents, I can list so many negativities of growing up in a single parent/divorced home but we cant paint everyone with some brush.