Why is it that those who have in abundance are the least likely to give. Or when they give they are extremely frugal. I’m not a millionaire and I don’t know what I’ll be like if I were one, but I’m increasingly shocked by how people are driven and controlled by materialism. This is probably poverty mentality on my part, call it what you like but I’ve noticed most generous givers, give from little. I guess I’m thinking more about the attitude of giving rather than the gift itself.
For instance. I know a girl – B- who owns a house. Her close friend – M- is homeless – in the sofa-surfing-kind of way and B’s property is free, it’s a three bedroom house in the centre of town, a very easy commute for M. There’s been a lot of hinting, out right asking and begging even to the point of grovelling for a temporary stay in the apartment – B said ‘no’ on the principle of not mixing friendship and business – ‘naturally’ there would have to be a contract and rents drawn up etc. instead she’s been helping M contact agents.
You may totally agree with B which is cool, but … spare a thought for Matema, who grudgingly loaned her sister some money for a visa application and has been hounding her for it from the moment the application was sent. Matema earns well over £59k a year yet she makes a note ( I don’t think it’s a mental one because she’s always very accurate) on how much her unemployed sister owes her, from the odd tenner to top up her oyster to the few pennies spent towards a co-signed birthday card to their mother. What is up with that?
giving = sowing a seed
I once heard that rich people seem stingy because they’ve worked hard to earn their money and they are very cautious of not frittering it away, especially on things with no investment value charitable giving.
No doubt a lot of wealthy people make sizeable donations to charity but to an extent there’s something in it for them, recognition like buildings named in their honour or access to other rich people or to a service ( enough rich people donate to certain establishments so their kids can be admitted into schools, clubs etc) there’s something in it. But try to stop them on the road and ask for a buck – you don’t even get acknowledged.
I hope I’m wrong about this, no doubt there are many reasons why people don’t give to vagrants on the street – but hardly ever do you see folks strutting out of Selfridges or Harrods hand out a fiver – or is it that rich people don’t ever have spare change – fine, how about at least acknowledging the fellow human being and stop acting like there’s a stench up your nose.
Can you tell I really get irritated by the greed and arrogance that comes with wealth ( forgive the generalisation) . I don’t get why it requires so much thought, planning and grovelling? *Sigh* I don’t even know why this bothers me to be honest. I don’t think i’ve thought this through…
But i wonder, if you’ve ever won the lottery would you be more of a giver, a spender or a hoarder ( ok, saver? 
)
Hmm, food for thought! I’m a bleeding heart but for the longest time, I’ve been learning how to be a smarter one… Some of the reasons why you’d hardly see the rich hand out a bill to a homeless person is because that bill doesn’t change the person’s situation. While it might feed them for the moment, it’s not a long-term solution and hence the reason I would rather make my contributions towards a more concrete solution that will positively impact people long-term… That said, on a few occasions, I’ve been moved to give randomly on the streets but it’s very infrequent… In addition, when you do see a lot of homeless persons, a lot of them are pretty able-bodied men and women who probably are making so much begging that they’d rather continue that – have you ever stopped to look at the outfit on a beggar during the winter? To see the quality of the coats and shoes sometimes? This is not to say that perhaps the outfits weren’t donated but they still make me question sometimes…
Here’s something an old Pastor of mine used to say each time he ran into a beggar – he’d ask the person to come home with him and he would give him/her a job… He was almost always met with a refusal… that is a clear sign of identifying someone who needs or doesn’t need help and just wants a free ride.
I like to think I’m a giver. I think a number of rich people are (whether they get recognition for it is not really important IMO) but I am learning more and more to make sure my giving has an impact and it’s not from a place of naively believing “world peace” and “world hunger” can be solved in an instant….
As for the lady who won’t bring her friend into her home, I can’t say much because there might be so much unknown history there – ways in which she has helped this lady numerous times that might have been met with ingratitude (I speak from experience)… or maybe she’s just downright selfish, who knows?
The lady keeping track of what she’s owed might be trying to teach her jobless sister some responsibility as is easily lost on some people who believe they are entitled to receive and be forgiven of loans just because the lender has more than they do while forgetting that person worked hard for it. At the same time, I live by the principle of only loaning an amount I can do without just in case I’m never paid back…
http://www.9jamom.com
The stingy are merely focefully teaching financial discipline to others.. :p
If the apartment is truly empty and free, and not likely to be rented any time soon, I agree with you. But sometimes, when you loan something to someone, you don’t have it when you need it. A tennent who’s not paying rent is hard to ask to move if a paying tenant appears. Also, it’s hard for people to tell someone when the gig is up. But real charity would be agreeing to pay for 6 months rent, and not asking for repayment.
As for the rich who give lavishly to tout themselves, remember, they have already received their reward. In other words, they can’t ask for double credit when they meet our Lord…But everyone needs to consider their motivations for giving charity. Personally, I give and give within my means, but I don’t tell others about it. I’ve been quietly giving to one order of preachers, never saying a word, until an opportunity came a few days ago to double what I’ve given this year. In order for that to happen, I had to get an accounting from the recipient to prove what I’ve given. I didn’t want to be publicly acknowledged, but alas, I was. Same with Church. Catholics are notoriously cheap. We have a weekly collection, to be sure, and we have a budget to meet each week. About every other week, we have a second collection for some non-parish charity, and most of the people peel off a few from their regular collection to have a couple bucks in the other collection. You can almost account to the penny.
What I do not do is give to the homeless on the street. Coming off the freeway on the way to church there’s a small city of them living under the overpass, and I refuse to give, because it’s a racket. Instead, whenever I see one, I give an extra five to our St. Vincent Depaul group that feeds those in need…
lol. shamefully cosigning with you on Catholics being cheap. But then again, our Priests dont give the rousing, wallet opening inspiring sermon like evangelists do
Nigerian Catholics are an exception though.
I heard that one too. They feel because they work really hard to earn their money, everybody else need to go out there and work hard as well. What they don’t know is that some people do not have the opportunity.
interesting piece…i find that wealthy persons are more methodical in their giving and less spontaneous..Bill gates has donated billions for malaria in Africa..but I’m not sure that on the off-chance that he walks past a beggar on the street he’ll have a fiver to hand the guy…
that aside i’m positive it has less to do with wealth than it does personality..I once heard a preacher say money is an amplifier…it merely magnifies what may have been hidden…
Maybe the rich prefer to give money where it’ll cause the most good. Thinking big.
As for the stingy blood relation…just not ok. unless this sister of yours has been proven to be unreliable, a spendthrift, clueless etc.
Very interesting and true and it’s funny cos even the bible has a similar bible story to the above concept. I wonder why though? I know of a person who has access to a lot more money than I do but she keeps asking me bits and bobs here and there and forgetting to pay me back which is fine, because it doesnt break my bank BUT once I needed a pound to add to my bus fair or something in the morning and before the end of the day she was already asking for it back and its like! LOl the funny thing is the people that remind me the most about me needing to pay them back have not paid meback so many times but i just cant be bothered to ask for it. Dont get me wrng i am not blowing trumpet in anyway i just genuinely wonder how that works!