Have you ever had those days when it seems like your life isn’t your own and you’re a bystander watching a car crash and not being able to stop it? Have you ever felt like things just happen and you’ve got no control of them at all and you’re just going with the flow? I used to feel that way.
As I write you today, I’ve come a very long way from the girl that used to fall out of the club scantily clad, drunk to a stupor. I’m no longer that person who knew the best dealer for the most potent weed. I’m far from the lying, cheating, stealing and conniving person I used to be. Looking back now, I cringe at those moments when I’ve knowingly made the wrong decisions. No other reason than, ‘just because’. I remember dating someone I had no business being with, why? Just because I wanted to. It was like walking straight into quick sand, ignoring all the warning signs, totally blanking all the people yelling at you to back away. It’s crazy, I know I’m a smart person, but my life experiences, show a high level of foolishness.
Having said that, I’ve learnt from my lessons and I’ve learnt to learn from the mistakes of others. Life is too short and needless mistakes are colossal waste of time. I thought I knew what was going on in my life; I thought I knew what direction I was heading. There was a plan; I had a five year plan and even 10 year goals. They were all written down, typed up – there for me to see, cross check and evaluate my progress. But you know what; it seems God has other plans for me. He’s taken me from a place of security, pulled the rug from under my feet so I feel the bare ground. He’s placed me at the edge of the mountain and pushed me so I can discover by ability to soar and reach great heights.
Reader, I have changed. And the frustrating thing is I don’t think I can fully explain to you how and in what ways. I’ve gone from being the average person, to discovering the supernatural side of me and the things that make more exceptional. I’m not living my life the way I’m expected to anymore!!! Wohoo!!! I’m super excited and I feel extremely liberated! One thing I can say for sure is that, I’m now on the best path of my life and God himself is monitoring my progress.
During the long break from Msluffa.wordpress.com so much happened and the bottom line of it all has been change and renewal. I feel like I’ve had a heart transplant and inevitably I feel differently about things and people and I’m moved to do different things.
I write these words, knowing you won’t understand, but also wishing that you’d continue to tolerate me. So far you’ve been so good to me, you’ve read, you’ve commented and you’ve shared so much of yourself. And for that I’m grateful. I beg, rather unashamedly, that your loyalty continues as I dare to share my new weird and wonderful life. Hopefully each post will make more sense. We’re not that different you and me. We’re both on a journey; l’m sharing mine, and I hope you’d share yours too.