My dad is wealthier than the wealthiest person on earth – but I’ve been lacking because I don’t ask and even when I do, I don’t really think he’ll respond so I try to sort things out myself. I usually end up getting much less than he’ll have given. Every time I’ve waited in the past he’s never disappointed me, so why am I so impatient and why do I doubt him.
I feel like I’m waking into a battle every morning. From the early seconds of consciousness, I’m whipping out the sword and fighting contenders, defending against thieves and challenging those that stand far off plotting and strategizing. It’s hard, but there’s no better way to live than as a victorious warrior.
I look at my sister and see her heavy heart. She’s been wearing difficulties, depression and even diseases like designer outfits. They hang on her shoulder, around her neck and even sit on her feet, and her wrists like shackles. Each time I see her my heart gets heavy. I could talk till I’m blue In the face, but then I realize that the freedom she needs will only come when I show her I love her. As I wash her feet, I take the shackles off, when I buy her clothes, she has a reason to take the burdens off and when I take her out, she sees how life can be.
I know he loves me, he doesn’t need to tell me so because he shows it. In the past I’ve felt in debt to him because of the love and respect I have for him. But As i’ve grow in love with God I realize what he wants for me falls short of what God wants. How do I let the man who was there when I was born know that the one who made me is taking me somewhere he knows little about and probably thinks little of? One love supersedes the other.
Every relationship is different and God finds a way of working it all out. I don’t know about trying to explain my relationhip with God to any of my parents but i know that when i gave my life to Christ i was a “cool kid” with the coolest gang in abuja. We threw the hottest parties, got paid to go to certain clubs cos the owners knew we would attract customers and all what not so making a 180 out of the blue was really, really hard. How could i stop drinking when we got paid to make cocktails and most of our house parties were for sampling recipes? And even if i did, i was mostly the cashier at events so how could i sell the alchy i wasn’t drinking? I would be writing an entire post if i go into detail of all we did, still do and how God has tailored it for me in a way that i have all of Him, I am still a member of iBlend and somehow have to courage to minister friends whom i love but who can easily not take me seriously because they know my past.
What i am trying fruitlessly to say is, if God can use me to talk to people who know some of my dirty little secrets then He can use you to be a blessing to your dad who will always see you as his little girl. There’s this verse that talks about not worrying what to say cos at the appointed time the Holy Spirit will put the words in your mouth. May God bless you, your sister, your dad and all of your family and may you continue to be a beacon of light through which many are blessed.
I’m really sorry about the length of this
Dosh has said it all. Don’t give up.